Dear 2020,
I hope you present yourself with an overall feeling of calm, reminding me that it doesn’t all happen overnight, and it doesn’t all have to be done in a day. In years past, I’ve found myself trying to fit so much in to one babysitting session, rarely taking the time to just sit down and enjoy a moment’s peace, or taking time while the kids are home to sit and play with them. I pray I deal with pressures of life differently, and when it feels like those pressures are creeping up, remind me to pray for perspective. I spent most of 2019 rushing through life. Although items were complete, I was left tired, treading water. I want to feel like while items are checked off the list, I’m feeling whole – mind, body and spirit. I hope to wrap up 2020 feeling like there was some ease to the year.
I hope you see me working towards my goals, and sticking to them. In 2019 I joined Modern Southern Mother as a blog contributor, bringing my dreams of blogging to life. A spark lit in me that I hadn’t felt in quite some time. It has taught me persistence. It has taught me it’s okay to be venerable. It has taught me not to be consumed with numbers, and to trust the process. It takes time to build solid foundations and I was able to see that first hand. Ten thousand followers don’t happen overnight, and as a matter of fact, they may never happen. I’m starting to learn through experience and mentors that regardless of the size of your following, you can be successful at what you’re doing, if your audience connects with you. Maybe a self-help book is in my future, but one of my main goals as a writer and blogger is to write things that inspire others, and connect them to me. As I start my personal blog James Dean Lane, this year, make sure I’m remembering and accepting the process.
I hope you watch me from afar sticking to my most important task – which is deepening the relationships within the walls of my home. Too often, 2019 saw me leaving home more than I wanted, or needing sitters more often, or rushing to get things done while my girls were home. I hope you’ll see a calmer and more settled wife and mother, who knows a little more about who she is – and what she aspires to be. Knowing that it will all fall into place. Nurturing my relationship with my children is my biggest hope for 2020. They’re constantly changing and I want to know them deeply. I want to know how they feel about things. I want to ask them more questions, and be surprised by their answers. I want to hold them more in my lap. I want to laugh more with them. Play more with them. Set them free a little more. They went out sleigh riding alone for the first time. That literally blows my mind, because when I was growing up, my mother didn’t have to think twice about letting us do that. It’s a different world, yes, but getting away from electronics and out of the dry heat inside our home is far more important than worrying about what could happen. I hope to hover less. I want us to have more movement, more fresh air, and more freedom together in 2020, releasing us from the pressures of the daily grind.
I also hope you see me deepen my relationship with David. We are upon our twelfth year of marriage, and after three moves, raising babies, acquiring a fourth company and living life – we’ve experienced quite a few highs and lows in the last several years. If someone claims they have the perfect marriage or husband, they’re not being honest with themselves. No marriage or person is perfect and EVERY couple can continually grow more, love more and learn more. I’ve learned that marriage isn’t for the weak, and can be work at times. I’ve seen firsthand why people throw in the towel, but I also see why people hold true to their vows and succeed. My marriage succeeds because it is fun, we do laugh, and we do love (fiercely) – we do have faith that we’re doing the best we can. I also want to deepen our spiritual relationship as a couple. Praying more together, praying even more with our children, attending Sunday worship as regularly as we can. One of my favorite moments is when David’s lands on my leg, grabbing my hand during church. I feel like we’re fully connected in love, and reminded of what God has in store for our lives.
2020, I greet you with arms and eyes wide open. May you be filled with grace, persistence, venerability, love and JOY for my family and friends. I can’t wait to see what you have in store for our lives, and I’m grateful to be living another year, so thank you for greeting me, too.
Xx,
Mary
